Dedicated to ceejay

Dedicating this blog to CeeJay. My first cat, best friend, ESA, Idaho homie, and travel companion. She lived from fall 2012 to March 18, 2025. I wouldn't be where I am today without her... my Nebelung dragon. 

Together, CeeJay, Betty, and I embarked upon many miles exploring global (aka our meg years). Coming back to the PNW is not the same for us, but we made it, and somehow we will create our home again. New starts and new chapters. miles818.blogspot.com

Thank you CeeJay. Rest in Peace.

Sketches from treatment

I want to always remember... my family's faith and devotion, the cabin my father built, the plant teachers and native tribes, the yogis and practice, the method artists, the travels and gridworking, the many healers, all of it. These sketches show the various aspects of it all, quite a balance.

Asheville domes and treatment

I came across these yoga domes by coincidence (Prama Institute and wellness center). Thank you for the amazing tour. A place of healing and helping.

Completed treatment with the Tapestry Program (now Silver Ridge Recovery). Thank you tapestry healers for being here and holding space. And especially for helping me learn more about diversity in identities and connecting with myself.

Thank you Mom and Grandma for all of your support during this time, and all times.

Rest in peace grandma Gwen.

Crystal Grids

I learned how to make these for protection, healing, balance, and more.

Crystal Springs & Mt Pisgah

While living in the cabin and studying yoga for a year, I built a merkaba geometry (first a model, and then life-size) and incorporated many crystals, including ones from Macchu Picchu. It was created to bring healing to the old family land, and I wrote a large corresponding map with all of its balancing components. This creativity was largely inspired by the entheogenic plants. 

 

With ideas but no plan, I left the cabin late 2019, and drove all around the country, eventually to the east coast late 2020. The journey brought us to a healing place called Asheville NC, nearby Crystal Springs in Virginia, and Mt Pisgah (mentioned from the Bible).

(Also picture below is a diagram of the ACT recovery model from my treatment, which coincidentally matched the merkaba geometry)

To the Edge

Finding both my wings and solid ground

Grandfather

You were an incredible story-teller, with your dreams of finding heaven.

Rest in peace grandpa Walt. Thank you.

Holding the gems

"You" in human

Covid19 is changing everything... Global pause. Deep breath.

I moved north, from LA to Humboldt.

Hold on Humans

End of the night

Thank you Avicii, Tim Bergling, for your musical honesty that has inspired me over the years.

Rest in peace Tim.

Here's to the balance we dreamed and worked for. 

The power of stories

Greatness

                     

Roots to Rise

Embracing wholeness

Finding clarity

 

Stay with it

Honesty

Even when being honest means losing everything I thought I had.

Learning Process

Yoga, help

Remember.

We are never outside of the field of pure consciousness, or grace. As humans we can become lost and forget this Truth, because of duality.

 

Contrasts

Awareness bringing light and life

Mostly Dead... is Slightly Alive

Because we can all use some more Miracle Max (The Princess bride)

   

Steps

Kid, you'll move mountains

Keep Aiming; and be here now

Breath reminder

"Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness. Breath unites your body to your thoughts. Whenever your mind becomes scattered, use the breath as the means to take hold of your mind again." -Thich Nhat Hanh

On the Road & method acting school

After a transformational year in the cabin, I set off on a road trip several months ago. I circled halfway around the country and landed in Los Angeles, where I am studying at method acting school, for practice with my emotions. It is incredible working with these amazing artists. I came to this school to learn more about authenticity and about "breaking out" of characters. Also participating in local yoga classes once or twice a week. Thank you all my new artist and yogi friends. I am finding deeper understanding and integration of my life story.

Samadhi Center summer 2019

I had the privilege to attend a retreat with the Samadhi Center in Ontario Canada during summer 2019, and just before moving out of the cabin. It was an impactful retreat that brought more roots and growth to my life. The work they do with videos, meditations, and retreats is bringing positive healing and evolution to our world. I highly recommend their Youtube series "Inner worlds, Outer worlds."

Crystal Roots Iboga Retreat

In April of 2019, I ventured to Ontario, Canada for a retreat with Crystal Roots Retreats in Shelburne. This retreat was facilitated by Bwiti Healing and included Iboga sessions. My work in yoga was essential between the ayahuasca vine and iboga root; it was a huge stretch in one year between these two plant teachers. Much integration of new alignment and releasing unhelpful, heavy beliefs & conditioning. 

All the work paid off. After the first session and detox, my body was peaceful like I'd never experienced before, breathing naturally all the way down to my feet/roots. We found the balance in my heart, and the presence of my mind. The iboga also assisted me in grounding the expansive energy from my ayahuasca ceremonies. This location of Crystal Roots was very significant and special.

This is also where I met Ewan Mitsuri Cassidy, fellow medicine worker and bright soul.

(February 16, 2000 - November 10, 2021)

Thank you Ewan for your heart and helping us all connect. You were a beautiful glimpse in my reality, and a beacon of hope.

Rest in peace Ewan.

Cabin in the forest

This is where I integrated with the plant medicines and yoga. Built on old family land by my father back in the 1980's. He lived there for 5 years until my parents built a house up the hill, which was our home my first 7 years. The cabin was just a short walk away, and a space of solace where my siblings and I played and enjoyed the forest. We sold the land and moved in 1999, and it was almost forgotten for 2 decades. In spring 2018 I ventured back to north Idaho to find the old cabin standing solid, empty, and peacefully. I met the current owners, who allowed me to live in the cabin for a year. Thank you.

(My cat CeeJay featured in picture)

Mindful of my words

Starting a blog. I've been living in a cabin and studying anusara yoga for a year now. Beautiful and challenging time of growth.

Thank you Idaho yogis

Entheogens and Macchu Picchu

Thank you Michael, for introducing me to the world of entheogenic plant medicines. They have inspired great change, healing, and growth in my life, and brought the colors of emotions back into my reality. 

Rest in Peace Michael Bud. 

In June 2018, using funds from my house sale, I traveled to Peru for ayahuasca ceremonies with Inca Shipiba, and for a visit to Macchu Picchu. This was a rebirth of my creative essence, and a fortuitous start to my year in the cabin, where I had a lot of work and preparation to do.

The opportunity to set foot at the sacred site of Macchu Picchu was/is a priceless gift, one that I always carry with me in heart and spirit.

"Millennia"- [plural for] a period of a thousand years, especially when calculated from the traditional date of the birth of Christ.